Trolling the Infomercials

Unfortunately, a chronic back issue flared up into a full blown spasm this week and I found myself lying in bed early Sunday morning, heating pad under back, steroids and Valium at the ready and the TV on at 7:30 a.m. NOTHING is on at that ungodly hour except infomercials. I woke to see my husband engrossed in some product that was supposed to pummel food better than my blender for only 6 payments of $19.95 per month. Really? Do we need another appliance to clutter our counter?

I lost interest until the skincare commercials began. All of a sudden, Cindy Crawford’s gorgeous image filled my screen as she gushed about her collaborative skincare brand with Dr. Jean-Louis Sebagh. Loaded with Parisian je ne sais quoi, Dr. S. is, in fact, a cosmetic surgeon of some note and I have seen his line in cosmetic catalogs at astronomical prices.Clearly he and Cindy put their handsome heads together and figured out a way to spread his fame and products to the masses at affordable prices.

Pretty persuasive marketing!

Pretty persuasive marketing!

When shown side by side photos of Cindy at 28 and 45, she has clearly benefited from extraordinary genetics and skincare if not the best cosmetic surgery on the planet. Valerie Bertinelli and Deborah Messing backed her up too, extolling the virtues of the good doctor and his products. I have seen variations of this presentation before but never been moved to order.

But now, with my blog,(and under the influence of drugs) I feel the need, nay responsibility, to try them and report to my loyal readers if they are hogwash or truly effective. Thus, credit card in hand, I ordered what seemed like a treasure trove of products for only $39.95 plus shipping, enticing free gifts included.

Next up was Dr. Howard Murad, more widely known in US skincare circles. His products have been around for many years and are considered of high quality and efficacy. Yet, even he felt the need to tap Joan Lunden to pitch his three product regimen to viewers.

Scarcely had Joan and Dr. M finished their presentation when Dr. Nicholas Perricone, dapper as ever and such a celebrity in his own right, he didn’t even need a gorgeous actress/model to advocate for him. Instead, an attractive  but otherwise unknown woman who works with Perricone helped him stress the wonders of Cold Plasma Sub D for that “often neglected” body part, the neck. Like Nora Ephron so succinctly put it, I Hate My Neck and every woman over 50 took up the cry.Sub D Most high end skincare lines do stock a neck cream but Dr. Perricone has made it his mission to smooth every neck in American. Crepiness, vertical and horizontal lines (marking your age like rings on a tree trunk) are all addressed by Sub D. No one mentions that many of his products smell like fish, but open a jar and it will be self evident. As you may have read, he emphasizes eating salmon practically daily for glowing skin.( I’ve always wondered if he shills for the salmon lobby, but I digress.)

Having given their lives for beauty, no doubt!

Having given their lives for beauty, no doubt!

I had just spent considerable time and money at Sephora and been told that Perricone is one of the 3 best selling anti- aging lines at that venerable emporium of beauty. His products are pricey yet woman come back and repurchase again and again. Surely I owed it to myself and my readers to take advantage of his very reasonable offer: $49.95 for a month’s supply of Cold Plasma Sub D, Amine Lift, and two Blue Plasma products; one, a daily, non grainy peel for the face and the other for the orbital eye area. Since even one of his products costs more than the entire TV offer, I felt I had little to lose.

Caveat: there are always strings attached so read the fine print carefully. Once you have handed over your credit card, you will receive 30 to 90 day supplies (depending on company policies) automatically unless you call to cancel. Even though they mostly offer a 60 day money back guarantee, you could be tapping your foot for weeks waiting for it. Better to track when you receive it and if not thrilled with the results, call the customer service number well before you receive an unwanted shipment.

As I have been told, it takes 30 days to see benefits from new products. So I will give each of these regimens their monthly allotment and report to you honestly:

Bargain? Or Bullshit?

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One Response to Trolling the Infomercials

  1. Beverly Abramson says:

    Waiting with bated breath

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